I can't believe that Logan is going to be 1 year old tomorrow. A whole year old! Where has the time gone? Where has my little baby gone?
Exactly 1 year ago today at this time, I was lying in bed WIDE AWAKE. I had been to the hospital for an induction on 1/2/08 that hadn't worked, and I was praying that I would go into labor on my own, and I wouldn't have to do it with pitocin again... no such luck. Even at that point, after 42 (!!) weeks of growing this amazing little baby inside me, I still had a hard time picturing myself as a real, live Mommy... What would it be like, would I know what to do? Would I do the right things at the right times? Little did I know that I'd soon find out that I wouldn't have to "know" what to do, it would all just come naturally.
Since I'm feeling all nostalgic (and maybe a little sad!) I wanted to write out Logan's birth story, since I don't think I've ever done it and I guess the longer I wait, the more I will forget!
We went to the hospital (for the 2nd time!!!) on January 8th, 2008 at 7am. I had the same nurse and the same room as the week before. They hooked me up to the fetal monitors, and then tried quite a few times in both hands, then both arms to get an IV into me... with no luck. They had to call in the anesthesiologist to get one into me! Then, they started me on Pitocin and it was on!
I sat in bed and read a magazine, watched some TV and chatted with Andrew, Mom, Jen, Barb and Cassie who were all there and waiting (again!) All the sudden, it felt like Logan did a back flip inside of me and it felt like I was peeing in bed... and I couldn't stop it!!! My water had broken. (no wonder they make you sit on those little bed pads!) He had passed mecounium inside me, so it was green (gross, I know!) Within about 10 minutes of my water breaking, I was in HARD, HARD labor.
I really had wanted to try to not have any drugs. Andrew and I watched my contractions on the monitor paper... All I could do was breathe (who knew that goofy breathing stuff they taught us in our baby class was something we could use?!) The nurse said that because of the Pitocin and the pitocin that my body was naturally making, my contractions were piggybacking. Andrew and I were watching my contractions on the print out from the fetal monitor, and one wouldn't even go below the 1/2 way point before another one started. They turned off the IV pitocin and still there was no change in the piggybacking. Once I got to 5 1/2 centimeters, I couldn't do it anymore. I was so physically exhausted. I felt like if I'm so tired now, how on earth can I push??? So I asked for the intrathecal. It was definitely a good decision. It gave me 3 hours to rest up for the pushing ahead!
Fast forward to about 5:30 and I am fully dilated and ready to push. I think it finally hit me at that point that this was really about to happen! Andrew was awesome. He stood by my head and counted out contractions for me and encouraged me. I can't imagine what being in his shoes was like... feeling like you can't really do anything to help with the actual birth! So I pushed... and pushed...... and then pushed some more. Logan had rotated so that his face was up (our doctor called him sunny side up!) I was having a hard time getting his head and nose past my pelvic bone. All the sudden monitors started going off and all the nurses were rushing around and Dr. Malcolm was yelling stuff at them and nobody was telling us what was happening... they put an oxygen mask on me and I instantly started crying! I can remember saying what's going on, what's going on and poor Andrew was as white as a ghost! I felt like I couldn't breathe with the oxygen mask on.. finally, when the alarms stopped, Dr. Malcolm explained to us that Logan's heart rate had dropped, that he was probably getting stressed from all the pushing and that we needed to get him out now. He told us he was going to use suction, which is like a vacuum they stick on the baby's head, and he'd pull as I pushed to help Logan past my pubic bone... we tried this for about 20 minutes with no luck. He left the room briefly and Andrew and I looked at each other and again, didn't know what was going on!
When Dr. Malcolm came back in, he told us that he was holding another patient out of the OR and that I needed to get Logan out in the next 10 minutes, or we were going to have to go a c-section.... that was all the encouraging I needed.... I was pushing like there was no tomorrow!!! Then, (finally!) at 7:43 pm, we welcomed our 8 pound 11ounce baby boy, Logan Timothy Thibeault to the world! The feeling of relief and excitement and pure exhaustion hit me as soon as they placed him on my chest. He was crying and covered in gook, but he was the most beautiful, amazing thing I had ever seen. Love at first sight is an understatement! Andrew asked Dr. Malcolm if he could touch him! haha! Dr. Malcolm told him Sure, he's yours! Here are some pictures of the first few hours of Logan's life:
And now, he's grown into an amazing little boy who is going to be a whole year old tomorrow.......
